Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Scatter shots

There is one thing people need to understand about me...I contain both absolute hope and absolute despair inside me. It's always been this way, the brightest star, the largest black hole. I often wonder which will win out. And when.

Friday morning, I pulled into the parking lot at work. I was listening to an AM talk radio station but another station was "bleeding" thru. It was playing this:

Such a joyful song...as the sun was rising and touching the trees with light, I wanted to just drive off, ditch work and hit the road, finally living the life I wanted to.

But of course, I didn't.

But maybe the day is coming when not only will I, I'll have to.

I won't let my dreams die. If they don't die, they'll kick at the stable doors until they break loose and stampede. Everyday, that moment grows closer.

Speaking of dreams...mine lately have been trying to tell me something. Last night, someone was lecturing about soil, how certain types can alter DNA so that murderous rages can occur in individuals. I've no idea if that's true but that's what the person in the dream was claiming.

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream in which there was a cult in town. The leader kept trying to break in my house and force me to join. It's always frightening, even in dreams, to encounter such blind determination.

I'm going to try to keep blogging more often. There's much I need to say.